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Thursday, April 27, 2006

benny hinn's Holy Ghost machine gun located


Louisville -Thursday
T4GCON attendees breathed a sigh of relief as it was announced today that Benny Hinn’s Holy Ghost machine gun has been found.

The weapon had been declared missing after an audit of police evidence lockers, adding to the hightened state of concern as the Arminian Threat Level had been raised to red in preparation for the conference. It was confiscated after a hunting accident in which John McArthur, President of Master's Seminary, was shot with the weapon.

Auditors said that the weapon had "crept in unawares" to a different area of the evidence room. Apparently it somehow found its way to stacks of currency confiscated in a narcotics seizure. A police officier noted, "Apparently the thing has a real taste for money! We just found it curled up in a pile of currency. When we pulled it out it seemed to not want to let go of the money, strangest thing I've ever seen."

Hinn has repeatedly asked that the Holy Ghost machine gun be returned, "That was uh, a rather unfortunate, uh, accident. He shouldn't have gotten in the way of God's annointed. They must return Benny's property at once! God will send fire down and consume you for impeding the work of his annointed, Benny Hinn."

Master's Seminary officials had been worried that the presence of so many charismatics and the potential proximity of the weapon could cause flashbacks of the incident and worst case, another "intense momentary memory recall of previously studdied languages", (the term employees of the seminary are required to use in reference to the event).


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